It's August, I'm Terrified

I feel bad for sort of cheating on you, Blogger. I really don't think that Tumblr is that great or that much different. Anyway, let's get to the point.

The first day of my SENIOR YEAR is like, three weeks away. I don't know if I can handle that. There are so many things that I cannot do on my own like, fill out deposit slips or do anything in relation to car maintenance. Plus, I don't have my senior pictures done yet or even talked about them with my mom.  All I'm good at is waking up (which some members of my family think I am not so good at), going to school, getting my work done, passing my classes and being pretty good at band related things. I'm also not horrible at my job, I just don't really like it. Just about every person in my life has told me that I am not mature or responsible enough to go to college and not fail out and become a hobo. They don't believe in me, which I think is the hardest part for me to grasp.Your parents and siblings are supposed to tell you that you can. All I get recently is that I can't. That I am stupid and worthless and too much of a people pleaser. All I want is to get away but I don't think I am ready for a life without my mom. And my two best friends that I tell everything to. I know that I am going to make new friends in college and they will probably be the people I invite to my wedding and not the people I meet here in BFE but still.

I don't even know why I'm writing this. College is more than a year away. Right now I have to focus on having a crazy awesome senior year without drama. A senior year that involves me and all my friends being happy and ready to tackle the next chapter of our lives. One where I pass physics and chemistry and advanced math without worrying too much.

I feel like the only thing I write about when I get on to blog is the above issue of letting what people think about what I want my career to be and what I want my family to be get into my head too much and let it control all the decisions I make. Alex is right on this one. I have to stop letting them run my life and start living for me. Not for anyone else. For me. And this all starts next week when people are actually under my control. When I can stand up for myself and say, "screw you for trying to 'keep me from getting my hopes up too high'. I will do what I want and nothing you say is going to change that." I think an attitude adjustment is a good thing to start senior year off with. That and no more boys. Boys don't help you pass physics. Unless they are Alex. But we can get into that whole schpeal like, later.

New York, New York

We are on spring break this week and unlike usual, I'm not staying home to do nothing!! Instead, I am going to New York City with the band for four days to sight-see and play a concert at Lincoln Center. We are going to all the cliche places like The Statue of Liberty and Time Square and we are also seeing Phantom Of The Opera on Broadway! This is the part I am most excited for. The only thing I am not really looking forward to is the 12 hour bus ride there. And that I won't have enough free time to take the subway across the river to Hoboken, NJ to go to Carlo's Bakery (Cake Boss on TLC). We leave Tuesday night and when we arrive on Wednesday, we hit the ground running. The best part about the whole bus thing is that there are enough seats on the bus that everyone can sit by themselves. The last time we went on a bus trip there were just enough seats and the girl I sat with had to sit by the window every time and was sprawled all over me trying to sleep on the way there. I didn't sleep a wink the whole way because she was practically on top of me. I haven't really started packing at all. I still have three days so there's not much rush. Even when I went to Costa Rica I didn't pack until like a couple days before. I procrastinate when it comes to just about everything. Nevertheless, I am excited. I have always wanted to go to NYC and now I get that chance :)

asdfghjkl I Hate Boys... Sometimes

Ugh. Okay. So, freshman year was the last time I even came close to having a boyfriend. But then that was all swept out from under me when he started talking to another girl an then proceeded to date her after I sorta messed up by being a little snotty while we were hanging out. But it's not entirely my fault. No one told me that you had to prompt him to ask you out. Nevertheless, him and the other girl have been dating off and on since then. Well recently we have started talking again and I never really stopped liking him so when he told me that he and his lover broke up I got really excited. He's been all flirty and our friendship is just really easy. I just like talking to him. He is fun and adorable and it doesn't hurt that he's an athlete (my prime bf material haha). But today when I checked his Facebook, it said that he and said ex-girlfriend were still together and have been since March 2nd. His profile pic is of them together. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this. Either both of them don't update their Facebooks regularly or he lied to me. I just don't know. I think I am going to ask him about it today. Because I would rather know that he lied than continue to get played like I did before. UGH. I. Hate. Boys. (Sometimes)

The Future Is A Mystery, But Here's My General Idea

Well. I haven't actually sat down to even think about blogging in forever. I've been too busy trying to get the next year and a half of school in order so I can get out of this small town and make something of myself.

I recently discovered that I need to take a physics class in order to get in to the Interior Design program at UC(incinnati) and we don't offer physics here at my little rural school. I am going to have to take it online or through an independent study with Mr. Oldaker. Now you may be thinking, "you'll be a senior, the only thing you have to take is English and that's not hard." Well you would be right if that was all I was going to take. Alas, being the crazy person I am, I am going to be taking not just one but two math classes next year and chemistry. So yeah. I will probably have no time for any of my friends and will want to shoot myself in the face but it'll be worth it. Hold on let's rephrase, I won't have time for my best friend who is also my only close friend. This may make me sound like a sad excuse for a human being but I don't care. I have no real connection with any other member of our "group", which isn't even a group anymore because we all secretly hate at least one person in it. This has nothing to do with college or school, sorry.

Anyway, I have basically decided that I have to go to UC. Cincinnati is one of my favorite places and that is the area I want to live in for the rest of my life. Maybe eventually moving to Northern Kentucky because they have better schools. Their Interior Design program is ranked 3rd in the nation and the sports teams are generally good. Plus being the largest metropolitan area in Ohio, that gives me way more options for internships and eventual employers. Even if i don't go directly into interior design, I can use my degree to plan weddings (which is my 1st career choice, then interior design). I plan on minoring in Organizational Leadership which will be nothing but beneficial. In total, this whole excursion should take me 5 years to do. Which puts me at 23 for graduation. Which leaves me a maximum 2 years to find my perfect man and plan the wedding of the century. The reception of which will be held on a big steamboat out on the Ohio River. I think it's gonna be marvelous.

And you're all probably thinking, 'what happens to Conan?" Well, I talked to him the other day about the whole Valentine's Day flower thing and I'm pretty sure that nothing is coming out of our "relationship". He is going to college in Wilmington to major in Ag stuff and to be honest, I really don't think that we would end up having a whole lot in common. Though I still think he is moderately attractive and that behind all the smart ass remarks he is actually a person worth knowing. Oh well, I will find me a better man in college and we will be so happy it's disgusting. And our children will be beautiful. Now I'm rambling. G'night.

Forgetting Something?

Have you ever forgotten something that was of relative importance? I bet it wasn't something as important as your birthday. Well I guess I really didn't forget it but I did forget all about it until this past Monday. Maybe it's because 17 is not a very important one or maybe it's because I have been surprisingly busy in these past couple weeks. I don't know. Nevertheless, Kayla and Amber are coming over tomorrow night and we are going to hang out and do fun things. And go to the basketball game so we can watch Conan. I'm thinking that if I don't have to go to work on Monday then the man-friends and I will go out to dinner. I don't know if I am getting anything from any one though Kayla has said that she needed to go shopping for me so...

In the past week I have started an afghan. I can already tell that it is going to be a lot of work but it is going to look awesome. The pattern is really busy and repetitive. When I get more of it finished I will put up some photos for your enjoyment.

Snow Day!

pg 71

Well, this wasn't really a legit snow day. We didn't have school because it's MLK Jr. Day. But, nevertheless, it still involved something you'd do on a snow day: Sledding!! I went with Erica, Ada, Hannah, Kayla, Eric, Cadi and Alyssa to Bennet Park and Davis Beach (both of which have massive hills with bodies of water at the bottom) to do a little sledding. This is the first time I've been sledding this winter and in a while. I hope you enjoy the photos from today! This is only a fraction of the pictures we took.



Slideshow courtesy of Animoto and the song is "Cameras" by Matt & Kim.

OU Honor Band 2011

This past weekend I had the great opportunity to attend the Ohio University Honor Band and Choir festival. Not just as a spectator, but as a participant. I have to say, this was one of the best experiences I will ever have. I met a ton of great people (we called ourselves the "Cool Bitch Clan") and got to spend some one-on-one time with the clarinet professor. Even though I made myself look like a fool when I started crying in front of her because the whole situation was so frustrating for me. I usually play 1st part no matter what for all of the stuff we play in band. But, because I didn't practice my music beforehand, I bombed my audition and got last chair. I mean I really didn't care that much; I was just happy that I got in. All of the people were so nice and I really didn't want to leave. The music sounded great and I was happy with it. Being on campus for 3 days made me feel like a college kid and I really enjoyed it. I can't wait for college. The freedom is what I look forward to the most. Hopefully next year I get in as well and I can participate in the whole thing all over again.                

Holidays Have Come And Gone

Well, like the title says, the holiday season is over and I thought that I would share what mine was like.

Over Christmas break (Which was very good for me. I relaxed the whole time and didnt have to go to work but like twice a week.) I did just about nothing. I should've been practicing for OU Honor Band (which is this weekend) but I just never did. I got just about everything I wanted for Christmas. I can't complain too much though because my birthday is at the end of the month so some of my presents are going to be coming then. I got Glee on DVD, an old-fashioned nib pen and a bunch of stuff for my car. I was really excited about my pen. For some reason I have always wanted one. After Christmas, I went down to visit my family n Cincy. That trip just turned into a 2-day shopping spree at Cincinnati Prime Outlets where I saw a transvestite, a man with no fingers and a man wearing knee-high lace-up deerskin boots. All in the same day. All in the same store (Banana Republic).

I was going to end up spending New Years alone, but Rachel came over after going to the movies with her mom and stayed the night. We ended up watching a lot of Doctor Who. I had to go to work the next day so she just stayed at the house. When I got home, we took down all the Christmas decorations and just chilled. Overall, it was a pretty good break. No drama, no fights: it was just as it should be all the time.

Let It Snow

Well the snow has started to fall here in central Ohio. It's kinda symbolic, I think, that the 1st snow happened on the 1st of December. With the snow comes new beginnings and the beginning of the month signifies a new season. I don't know about you but after the snow came and I made it home with only a slight mishap, I am in the Christmas spirit. And then I go to work and listen to the same song over and over and it's gone. We have started to decorate a little bit around the house; we are getting a real tree this year! I haven't had a real tree since I was in the 3rd grade because my mom didn't want to deal with picking the needles out of the carpet at the new house.

Speaking of mishaps in the snow, Wednesday was my first day driving in the snow. It went pretty well until I was almost home. I was going around a corner at like 20 mph and my car started to slide! I freaked out and started trying to regain control, completely forgetting everything I learned in driving school. After about 20 seconds I started driving again. It was the scariest 20 seconds of my life! I hope that I never have to experiance something like it again but that is highly unlikely.