Week One

It's official. I've made it through my first week of DAAP. It was a HUGE workload for one week but I finished everything and even attempted to have a little fun! I have made some friends with  mostly people in DAAP and the people in my section and they are all really cool. There is this one boy in my section whose name is Nick who has to be my one true love. Super cute, Catholic, from California, very nice. And I have all year to make him love me :) haha. There is this other boy named Troy who is in my public speaking class who is also adorable, and older, but he has a girlfriend and commutes so he is never really on campus. Only time will tell.
I have decided that this girl named Laura is my new bff. She is an Architecture major and we are very, very similar in the way we approach school and some things in life. I have a feeling that by the end of this year we are going to be pretty good friends. Her roommates are both really cool and we all hang out together when we can.
My roommate on the other hand is somebody that I am just going to have to learn to deal with. At first I was excited about living with her but the closer it came to mving in, the more clueless she seemed to get about everything and those are the kind of people I just dont have time for. She is messy and not very bright and for the past five nights she hasn't even slept in our room. I don't really care where she is going but it's a little weird to me that she doesn't sleep in her bed whenever she is done doing whatever. She is on the swim team here at UC so you would think that she would like go to bed early and do her homework on the night it is assigned. But no. If I had my way, Laura and I would be roommates but I dont want to rock the boat by asking for a transfer. It's not like I'm ever in our room besides to sleep or do homework so I guess I can't complain too much.
It's only the first week so hopefully everything just gets better. I really hope that is the case.

Here We Go

It's hard to believe that this time last year was the last time I sat down and wrote a blog entry. It's also harder to believe that I leave for college in like 2 weeks. All the things I spent the last two years worrying about don't matter anymore because I did get into UC's Interior Design program and I am going to kick ass at it and I'm going to make all sorts of new friends and experience new things and just live my life the way I want. I wont be trapped by the way too small town of Howard and I will have everything that the big city has to offer me right at my fingertips. I am beyond excited. When I read my last post i was reminded of the anxiety and stress I was facing in the coming year and all of the things i was worried about were not a problem like i thought they would be. Yeah, physics was a little tough but I got through it. The part of senior year that sucked the most was being so busy with work and other things that I'm afraid I let my friendship with Kayla become not as important as it should be. She is still my best friend but i feel like with her being the busy person she is and having a boyfriend we are not as close as we should be with this being our last full year with each other. This fall she is going to be a short hour away at Bellarmine University in Louisville but who knows if we will have time to go see each other. Especially since I am not taking my car. I guess we will just have to wait and see.

After my AMAZING trip to Europe over spring break this year I started working at the gas station close to my house and I had no idea that it would suck up so much of my 2nd to last summer at home. I work 40 hours a week, every week and all I want to do when I come home is go to sleep not see my friends. I have had very few outings with friends (maybe three) and even less time laying out in the sun. I am the palest I have ever been during the summer. I barely had time to buy all of the things I needed for school because of work. I don't hate it because I work with people I like and it is not to demanding physically but after a while it just gets old. Particularly one girl that I spent the majority of my time with until recently when I got moved to mornings instead of nights.

I am making a promise to myself that I will keep this blog more up to date when school gets started. I really have missed just sitting down and letting everything out and having no one even know this blog exists to pester me about it. Unlike Facebook or Twitter which more people are aware of and are more likely to question me about. Blogger, you have been sorely missed and I think will prove to be one of my closest friends once real life kicks in. Your ability to listen and not criticize is greatly appreciated.

It's August, I'm Terrified

I feel bad for sort of cheating on you, Blogger. I really don't think that Tumblr is that great or that much different. Anyway, let's get to the point.

The first day of my SENIOR YEAR is like, three weeks away. I don't know if I can handle that. There are so many things that I cannot do on my own like, fill out deposit slips or do anything in relation to car maintenance. Plus, I don't have my senior pictures done yet or even talked about them with my mom.  All I'm good at is waking up (which some members of my family think I am not so good at), going to school, getting my work done, passing my classes and being pretty good at band related things. I'm also not horrible at my job, I just don't really like it. Just about every person in my life has told me that I am not mature or responsible enough to go to college and not fail out and become a hobo. They don't believe in me, which I think is the hardest part for me to grasp.Your parents and siblings are supposed to tell you that you can. All I get recently is that I can't. That I am stupid and worthless and too much of a people pleaser. All I want is to get away but I don't think I am ready for a life without my mom. And my two best friends that I tell everything to. I know that I am going to make new friends in college and they will probably be the people I invite to my wedding and not the people I meet here in BFE but still.

I don't even know why I'm writing this. College is more than a year away. Right now I have to focus on having a crazy awesome senior year without drama. A senior year that involves me and all my friends being happy and ready to tackle the next chapter of our lives. One where I pass physics and chemistry and advanced math without worrying too much.

I feel like the only thing I write about when I get on to blog is the above issue of letting what people think about what I want my career to be and what I want my family to be get into my head too much and let it control all the decisions I make. Alex is right on this one. I have to stop letting them run my life and start living for me. Not for anyone else. For me. And this all starts next week when people are actually under my control. When I can stand up for myself and say, "screw you for trying to 'keep me from getting my hopes up too high'. I will do what I want and nothing you say is going to change that." I think an attitude adjustment is a good thing to start senior year off with. That and no more boys. Boys don't help you pass physics. Unless they are Alex. But we can get into that whole schpeal like, later.

New York, New York

We are on spring break this week and unlike usual, I'm not staying home to do nothing!! Instead, I am going to New York City with the band for four days to sight-see and play a concert at Lincoln Center. We are going to all the cliche places like The Statue of Liberty and Time Square and we are also seeing Phantom Of The Opera on Broadway! This is the part I am most excited for. The only thing I am not really looking forward to is the 12 hour bus ride there. And that I won't have enough free time to take the subway across the river to Hoboken, NJ to go to Carlo's Bakery (Cake Boss on TLC). We leave Tuesday night and when we arrive on Wednesday, we hit the ground running. The best part about the whole bus thing is that there are enough seats on the bus that everyone can sit by themselves. The last time we went on a bus trip there were just enough seats and the girl I sat with had to sit by the window every time and was sprawled all over me trying to sleep on the way there. I didn't sleep a wink the whole way because she was practically on top of me. I haven't really started packing at all. I still have three days so there's not much rush. Even when I went to Costa Rica I didn't pack until like a couple days before. I procrastinate when it comes to just about everything. Nevertheless, I am excited. I have always wanted to go to NYC and now I get that chance :)

asdfghjkl I Hate Boys... Sometimes

Ugh. Okay. So, freshman year was the last time I even came close to having a boyfriend. But then that was all swept out from under me when he started talking to another girl an then proceeded to date her after I sorta messed up by being a little snotty while we were hanging out. But it's not entirely my fault. No one told me that you had to prompt him to ask you out. Nevertheless, him and the other girl have been dating off and on since then. Well recently we have started talking again and I never really stopped liking him so when he told me that he and his lover broke up I got really excited. He's been all flirty and our friendship is just really easy. I just like talking to him. He is fun and adorable and it doesn't hurt that he's an athlete (my prime bf material haha). But today when I checked his Facebook, it said that he and said ex-girlfriend were still together and have been since March 2nd. His profile pic is of them together. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this. Either both of them don't update their Facebooks regularly or he lied to me. I just don't know. I think I am going to ask him about it today. Because I would rather know that he lied than continue to get played like I did before. UGH. I. Hate. Boys. (Sometimes)

The Future Is A Mystery, But Here's My General Idea

Well. I haven't actually sat down to even think about blogging in forever. I've been too busy trying to get the next year and a half of school in order so I can get out of this small town and make something of myself.

I recently discovered that I need to take a physics class in order to get in to the Interior Design program at UC(incinnati) and we don't offer physics here at my little rural school. I am going to have to take it online or through an independent study with Mr. Oldaker. Now you may be thinking, "you'll be a senior, the only thing you have to take is English and that's not hard." Well you would be right if that was all I was going to take. Alas, being the crazy person I am, I am going to be taking not just one but two math classes next year and chemistry. So yeah. I will probably have no time for any of my friends and will want to shoot myself in the face but it'll be worth it. Hold on let's rephrase, I won't have time for my best friend who is also my only close friend. This may make me sound like a sad excuse for a human being but I don't care. I have no real connection with any other member of our "group", which isn't even a group anymore because we all secretly hate at least one person in it. This has nothing to do with college or school, sorry.

Anyway, I have basically decided that I have to go to UC. Cincinnati is one of my favorite places and that is the area I want to live in for the rest of my life. Maybe eventually moving to Northern Kentucky because they have better schools. Their Interior Design program is ranked 3rd in the nation and the sports teams are generally good. Plus being the largest metropolitan area in Ohio, that gives me way more options for internships and eventual employers. Even if i don't go directly into interior design, I can use my degree to plan weddings (which is my 1st career choice, then interior design). I plan on minoring in Organizational Leadership which will be nothing but beneficial. In total, this whole excursion should take me 5 years to do. Which puts me at 23 for graduation. Which leaves me a maximum 2 years to find my perfect man and plan the wedding of the century. The reception of which will be held on a big steamboat out on the Ohio River. I think it's gonna be marvelous.

And you're all probably thinking, 'what happens to Conan?" Well, I talked to him the other day about the whole Valentine's Day flower thing and I'm pretty sure that nothing is coming out of our "relationship". He is going to college in Wilmington to major in Ag stuff and to be honest, I really don't think that we would end up having a whole lot in common. Though I still think he is moderately attractive and that behind all the smart ass remarks he is actually a person worth knowing. Oh well, I will find me a better man in college and we will be so happy it's disgusting. And our children will be beautiful. Now I'm rambling. G'night.

Forgetting Something?

Have you ever forgotten something that was of relative importance? I bet it wasn't something as important as your birthday. Well I guess I really didn't forget it but I did forget all about it until this past Monday. Maybe it's because 17 is not a very important one or maybe it's because I have been surprisingly busy in these past couple weeks. I don't know. Nevertheless, Kayla and Amber are coming over tomorrow night and we are going to hang out and do fun things. And go to the basketball game so we can watch Conan. I'm thinking that if I don't have to go to work on Monday then the man-friends and I will go out to dinner. I don't know if I am getting anything from any one though Kayla has said that she needed to go shopping for me so...

In the past week I have started an afghan. I can already tell that it is going to be a lot of work but it is going to look awesome. The pattern is really busy and repetitive. When I get more of it finished I will put up some photos for your enjoyment.